Restart

 Several years have passed since I opened up to Tamara. She did not remind of this story. Of course, I could not forget a second of this adventure, but everything remained inside me.

I entered a period of serious relationship with a real girl. All women's things were decisively thrown out. It seems that during this period, as well as during my military service, my feminine side calmed down. But the relationship which the girl did not work out, and by the age of 27 I returned to my nature again. And this return made me realize that everything is much more complicated than I could have imagined.

I did a lot of stupid things while changing, but it felt like a gamble. Every time I went out into the street, it was an emotional outburst, reaching trembling all over my body, risk and frustration. Wearing underwear hidden by men's outerwear is an imperceptible rebellion against everything unfeminine in me. But it seemed to me that I, already an adult, was able to control my actions and restrain my emotions. How wrong I was.

A short time later, after the end of the romantic relationship with the girl, a new cycle of clothing accumulation began. All I had - a combination and tights, fit into a small suitcase, which I kept at work, fearing that it might accidentally be found at home. Here, in this photo.

When I had the opportunity, I brought the suitcase home and changed for my pleasure. Daddy still lived with Tamara, and of course I used her clothes as well. But somehow there was no chance to remain alone for a long time, and I decided on a desperate act.

What power controlled me when on a weekend through the window I climbed into the room at work to briefly put on a shirt and tights and so briefly remain in almost complete darkness? The guards could catch me, they could see me through the window, the room was on the first floor. This act cannot be called reasonable, but it was categorically impossible to resist.

“Perestroika” began; there was an opportunity to earn extra money, which I spent on women's clothing. New cosmetics appeared on sale - foundation and cover stick.

It was still difficult to buy tights, but I bought a bodysuit, a belt for stockings, the same as those of my mother, which I really liked. I used foam to shape the thighs, and the breasts were created with water-filled balloons. The dressing process was not easy. Applying makeup using a lot of foundation was even more difficult. I tried to go outside, but usually at night. In the mirror, I seem to look pretty good, but on the street it happened that passers-by just stopped and looked at such a miracle with surprise. And I started a photo session in order to understand what actually the matter is and what I am doing wrong. I took into account the mistakes of recent times, put the mirror closer, and installed the backlight. It didn't work out better.

My shoes and underwear are already mine, but Tamara's robe is still there.

My sweater, Tamara's skirt.

I decided to show my legs.

Here is Tamara's blouse.

At some point, it seemed to me that even without a wig, I look quite feminine.

This is my suit, pink with white polka dots. I went to the store for several days in a row, trying to decide whether to buy this suit or the dark one that hung nearby. It seems to me that I was not mistaken.

I had a very memorable story with this suit, I'll tell you soon.