Notes: The end of secrets

I could be in women's clothes for as long as I wanted. I even slept without taking off my bra and stockings. After changing, I felt so comfortable and cozy that I didn't want to go back to "normal" clothes and life.

My father went on a business trip for a few days. I changed clothes and fell into the trap of a comfortable state. I was wearing the best: a bodysuit, nylon stockings, high-heeled sandals. I worked hard on the makeup, and was pleased with the result.

Somehow I looked like that.

I didn’t want to and couldn’t take off my women’s clothes, although I knew that Tamara could come. And I decided that let it be, what will be. I did not prepare any special explanations and did not know what I would say if Tamara caught me in this form. Not to say that I was very worried. I sat in front of the TV in the common room. The TV, however, was turned off, and I looked at my reflection on the gray screen. I had no way to hide if Tamara opened the front door. Probably, I did this on purpose, so that if I was caught changing clothes, then, as if by accident, but for sure.

When I heard Tamara open the front door, I jumped up and stood in the middle of the room, waiting for her to enter. “Hello,” Tamara said in surprise, entering the room and not immediately recognizing me. "It's me": I introduced myself. "Are you waiting for someone?" she asked. "Not anymore," I replied.

I went to my room and waited for Tamara to go to the kitchen for dinner. I followed, asking permission to walk around in women's clothes today, but she was ahead of me with the answer to a question not yet asked: "No, no! I will not tell anyone...".

Then we sat in the kitchen, and I said that these clothes are mine, that I change clothes just like that, for myself, because I like it so much. Tamara was not very surprised by this recognition. She asked where I bought the suit and praised the choice, asked what underwear I was wearing. She did not mind at all that I would remain in women's clothes and did not show in any way that something special was happening. I did not want and, even feared, the transition to an intimate relationship, but this did not happen.

The next morning I dressed already at home, in a dressing gown, terrible tights. Tamara, when she saw me, was a little surprised: "I thought it was only for one day." "Is that my bathrobe on you?" - not that she asked, not that she stated. After breakfast, seeing that I was in no hurry to put on my suit, she asked: "Can I try on your suit?". “Of course,” I was delighted: “Only can I try on yours then?” “You can,” Tamara replied: “Only it seems to me that it will be small for you.” In a second I was wearing her office suit! I had tried on all her things dozens of times before, so I had no doubts that her clothes suit me well (I already told about the adventures of the green suit). It's funny that Tamara first tried to straighten the blouse on me, pushing it through the belt of the skirt, and then with the words: "Yes, well, everyone does it!", pulled up my skirt and pulled the blouse on from below. However, my suit looked great on her. "Let him hang in the wardrobe," she decided; "I'll put it on for the New Year."

A new period has begun in my life. I could wear Tamara's clothes, and she could wear mine. My dresses legally hung in the closet next to her clothes. Or, it would be more correct to say that all the women's clothes in the house became our common clothes.

During my father's next trips, I immediately met Tamara in women's clothes. And spent so all the time until my father's return. True, she categorically did not let me go out into the street and, no matter how much I asked, she did not buy women's clothes especially for me. The wardrobe grew and we wore each other's dresses, blouses and skirts. Tamara could ask: "Put on my new skirt, I want to see what blouse it looks best with," or make a remark: "This blouse is too transparent! The bra is visible. Put on my black slip."

Tamara, like my grandmother, ignored my appearance. And I wanted to somehow draw attention to myself. I tried my best to get in front of her. Once, as if by accident, I tied my apron with a double knot at the back, and went to Tamara, asked for help to untie the knot, and at the same time twist my booty in front of her. She untied the knot and only told me to be careful in the future. A few years later, I told her about this episode, but she did not remember it at all. Once she even said: "Yes, even go naked, if you like!".

And now a story for adults. Our bed adventures with Tamara continued. I was already a little more experienced, but still, my male role did not turn out very well. Of course, I felt guilty before my father, but not only. The arousal disappeared as soon as I remained naked, and I was not wearing women's clothes. I went to bed in women's underwear, including a bodysuit, stockings or pantyhose, and even a sports swimsuit. And once I experienced very strong feelings, literally to the point of groaning and almost fainting, when Tamara spread my legs and lay on top of me. I was wearing a full set of women's underwear and my penis was deeply hidden. But, she did not like such a game, and there was no repetition. When it came to sex, I kept at least a bra on to prolong my arousal.

In many photographs I am in a gray woolen dress. This is Tamara's dress, but I really liked it and I thought that it looks better on me. I was even offended when Tamara went to work in this dress. As soon as she returned, I immediately demanded that my dress be returned to me. Much later, when she no longer lived with us, she gave it to me.

In these photos I am in my favorite dress at home.

All attempts to go out into the street in women's clothes are connected with the fact that I wanted to be seen as a girl, a woman, and I was terribly afraid that people would actually see a disguised boy - a man. Which almost always happened. Therefore, she went out into the street only at night, avoiding illuminated and crowded places. And even if during the walk I didn’t meet anyone at all, then, upon returning home, I still felt the joy of victory. Although, I now thought that they rather paid attention to a lonely young woman walking in the middle of the night, which was rare.

Here is a photo from one such night walk.

This is me gathering my courage before going out

Well, okay. Not young, but still a woman?

My dream at that time was to look so that I could walk freely during the day and even ride the subway! But for now, only at night and only on foot.

Then I still had access to the apartment left by my grandparents. And so I decided to go back and forth, it's seven kilometers one way. The first time it was a real disaster. Then I was 30 years old. I already had quite a few of my clothes. There were very fashionable then openwork tights with a seam, a dark blue straight knee-length skirt with a small slit on the side, a bright orange long sweater with a large collar. By the way, the sweater was so long that you could walk in it without a skirt, pretend that it was a mini dress. Tamara also thought that it was better than with a skirt.

I was alone, Tamara was supposed to arrive only tomorrow, but her raincoat hung on a hanger. It was raining terribly, and even though I only had sandals then, I decided to go for a walk. She took Tamara's handbag, put her wallet and mirror in it and went. Walking in puddles in sandals is not at all what I expected. As soon as the rain stopped, I met a group of drunken teenagers and got terribly scared. When they came towards me, I just ran out through the bushes onto the road. Luckily the taxi stopped. After driving a little, the driver stopped and a woman got into the car. There wasn't much left to go home. When we pulled up and I was paying the driver, I heard her say: "I thought it was a woman." Horror and disaster! I fussed, dropped and picked up my umbrella, and walked as fast as I could on my heels.

I went into the apartment, my feet were wet, I was tired of course - seven kilometers in heels.! I sat down on the couch with my legs. Resting. But you have to get out somehow. It is already light outside, six in the morning, and there are already a lot of people at the bus stops. I had to choose the road, away from the big streets. I almost reached the house, sat down on a bench, took out a mirror, straightened my makeup. The sun came out and I feel that I don’t want to hurry home. It was a record! 14 kilometers and more than eight hours on the street.

Here are photos from another similar trip.

Going

To go, I've arrived!

I used my grandmother's apartment not only as a target for hiking. Then I already stored my dresses there and came sometimes to just change and feel happy for the day. Here are some photos of one such day.